Bisexuality and Pansexuality in Big Mouth Season Three: Hits and Misses
Still ℅ Big Mouth
Warning: Spoilers for the television series Big Mouth, particularly its new third season, appear throughout the piece.
The animated Netflix original show Big Mouth has been a big hit among audiences. With the release of its much anticipated third season, I, like many others, put a pause on everything else I was watching in order to binge season three.
In the eigth episode of the new season, titled “Rankings,” we’re introduced to the pansexual character Ali, voiced by comedian Ali Wong. Big Mouth is known and widely appreciated for not shying away from raunchy discussions of sexuality, especially during the perilous time of one's development known as puberty. The show has given us main characters who identify as queer, with Matthew openly identifying as gay and Jay identifying as bisexual, although not openly until this season. We have seen through these characters how lonely it can be to realize you’re queer in a world where sex and sexuality are almost exclusively defined on heteronormative terms, and Big Mouth has been notably missing a female presenting queer character until Ali’s introduction.
As someone who identifies as a bisexual woman, Ali’s introduction excited me. People who idenitfy as bisexual or pansexual often find themselves ostracized from both queer and heterosexual spaces. Sexuality isn’t black and white, but many people still have the misconception that it is. This makes it uniquelly challenging for those of us who idenitfy as queer but not gay or lesbian to find spaces accepting of our sexuality.
For a show that has been praised by many for not holding back on how it presents the trials and tribulations of puberty, I was hopeful that Ali’s addition to the Big Mouth cast would inspire further discussion around puberty and queer identities. Puberty is hard for everyone, but for queer, transgender, and non-binary people it is espeically difficult because there are not nearly enough resources on puberty that aren’t strictly cis/heteronormative. The lack of mainstream and positive depictions of queer identities made it much more difficult for me to fully grasp my bisexuality during this own time in my life. This is why Ali’s pansexuality is important because it has the potential to portray a positive relationship between queerness and puberty. Even if the show is geared towards adults and not minors in middle school, a pansexual member of the main cast enables the show to put forth a more nuanced understanding of human sexuality.
However, the first thing that came to my mind after watching Ali’s introduction and hearing the definition of pansexuality presented was to ask: did they even consult a pansexual or bisexual person when they were writing this? The cringe worthy definition made me feel like no queer people are in the Big Mouth writing room. In this scene, Ali differentiates bisexual from pansexual when another character confuses the two by remarking “bisexuality is so binary” in an annoyed tone. Ali defines her sexual orientation by stating that her “sexual preference isn’t limited by gender identity” and goes further into depth by exclaiming to her new classmates: “some of you borings like tacos, and some of you like burritos and if you’re bisexual, you like tacos and burritos. But I’m saying I like tacos and burritos, and I could be into a taco that was born a burrito, or a burrito that is transitioning into a taco...and anything else on the fucking menu.”
The definition of pansexuality put forth by Ali does more harm than good. It pits pansexuality against bisexuality and assumes that these sexualities inherently contradict by definition. As a bisexual woman, I can’t speak for the pansexual community but I can say that this is not an accurate presentation by any means.
Bisexuality and pansexuality do overlap in many ways, and for some people, the distinction between them is important. The way in which pansexuality is defined by the antagonizing of bisexuality is more harmful than helpful. Bisexuality and pansexuality aren’t inherently contradictory — they are two sides of the same coin and they are both valid. This scene implies that pansexuality by nature is biphobic and that bisexuality by nature is transphobic, both of which is false. Bisexuality has always included non-binary and trans people as does pansexuality. This scene’s misrepresentation of pansexuality and bisexuality does a disservice to not only the bisexual and pansexual communities, but to the non-binary and transgender communities as well.
This criticism is not isolated to just me, however; many bisexual and pansexual people also noted their anger on Twitter:
Human sexuality is by no means an easy topic to tackle or to define. The writers of Big Mouth made an attempt in introducing “non-traditional” sexualities to the fabric of their show. The show’s creator, Nick Kroll, emphasizes that he wants Big Mouth “to tell as many different kinds of story around puberty as possible.” As good is it for the minds behind the show to realize this responsibility, their misinformed attempt in doing so in this episode ended up perpetuating biphobia and transphobia. Clearly the show needs to consult more people from the LGBT communities they wish to represent in order to do a better job in the future. However, regardless of its intital blunder, the episode does do a good job present some of the challenges that come with openly identifying as bisexual or panseuxal.
Ali’s confidence in her sexuality and the attention she receives from it inspires Jay to openly identify as bisexual for the first time. However, we see both characters being confronted by difficulties based on their sexuality. Jay’s bisexuality is constantly invalidated as some characters assume he’s just on his way to identifying as gay. His male friends, such as Nick and Andrew, appear uncomfortable around him due to their paranoia that Jay is into them. This is an accurate depiction of the misconceived notions many people have surrounding men who identify as bisexual and it is important for the show to include them. Additionally, we see Ali being constantly fetishized for her sexual orientation as people begin to assume she’ll get with anyone because of her pansexuality. She ends up having to fend off sexual harassment from other girls in the form of them trying to kiss her.
Jay and Ali end up having a heart-to-heart about their respective sexual orientations, in which the pansexual Ali does not invalidate Jay’s bisexuality but instead provides the understanding he’s been lacking from the rest of his classmates. Their discussion casts light on many of the double standards bisexual and pansexual folks have to deal with. At the end of the day, Big Mouth didn’t do a perfect job with their representaiton of these identities, but Ali does tell Jay something I think is important for any queer person to hear regardless of how they specifically identify: "no matter what, coming out is hard and you should be proud.”
Big Mouth’s co-creator Andrew Goldberg did put out an apology for the show’s mishandling of bisexuality and pansexuality. He stated on twitter: “We missed the mark here with this definition of bisexuality vs. pansexuality and my fellow creators and I sincerely apologize for making people feel misrepresented. Any time we try to define something as complex as human sexuality, it’s super challenging, and this time we could have done better. Thank you to the trans, pan, and bi communities for further opening our eyes to these important and complicated issues...we are listening.” Even though the damage is done, Goldberg’s apology does reassure that those behind Big Mouth are well intentioned and aware of how they messed up. I personally look forward to how they will improve with handling the topic of sexual orientation in future seasons.
Ultimately, pansexuality and bisexuality are both broad definitions of human sexuality. Bisexuality isn’t strictly defined along a gender binary, nor is pansexuality isn’t more “woke” or enlightened than bisexuality. It is important to challenge these misconceptions, especially when they appear in pop culture in order to promote a better understanding of sexuality and sexual orientation. Some people feel more comfortable labeling themselves as bisexual, while others prefer pansexual. The distinction is up to the individual and what they perceive to be a better fit for themselves. After all, there isn’t one correct way to be queer.
